I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just cropdusted the office
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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