okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Actions speak louder than pants.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
