The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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