Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
