I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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