She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize