it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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