the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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