Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
