It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
