We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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