Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize