My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
