He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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