the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
