Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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