honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
