Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
