ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
