That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
