never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How does it feel to date your dad?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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