please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i now understand why vodka
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
