what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
