Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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