Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
