i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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