I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
