I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize