If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
