He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
