youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
