I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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