The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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