well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Randomize
