yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
