Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
