I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
