And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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