R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the day after is always just damage control
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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