i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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