Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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