I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize