my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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