she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
