You smell like stripper and shame
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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