so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
