WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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