I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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