We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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