even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
