Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
