I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
