im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
