New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
