Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
