They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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