Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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