Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do herpes really smell.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
