Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
